Stop Bullying, Start Befriending!
It’s the first time ever that I’ve taken to writing. The reason is something, that moved me a great deal and also upset me no end. I had to vent it and also share what I strongly feel about it.
Yesterday a 7-year-old comes to me with a smile on her face asking me to do an angel card reading for her. When the angels said, “Don’t let others make you feel bad about yourself”, I saw that smile transform into sadness in her eyes. When I asked her if she knows what the angels are referring to, she said “she gets really upset when her friends make fun of her and call her fat and other names making fun of her chubbiness.” Now this card had come in response to her question to the angels as to why she is experiencing skin eruptions. So this is how much the mistreatment of her “so-called” friends was affecting her – that it’s finally showing up on her body.
This is just one of a million cases where children get affected because of the insensitivity and lack of compassion of other kids.
So what exactly is the issue here? Children as we know are innocent and pure, then at what point in time does the ego take over spirit? And can we help in any way?
The way I understand this is that a bully is always the one who has tremendous insecurities and is deeply wounded at an inner level. He / She needs to feel powerful to overcome this feeling of lack/hurt/insecurity and inadequacy. How do they manage this? By exerting power over people who they perceive as being weaker than themselves. This power and control takes the form of nasty comments and mean remarks because the energy that’s being emitted is that of anger. On the other hand, the victim is usually the one who, in all probability, has planned to learn the lesson of self-acceptance, self-love and assertiveness.
So while we accept the fact that in spiritual truth everyone is learning and each one is helping the other’s soul progression, even if through unpleasant behavior, how do we deal with this on the physical plane? Most people are not even aware of this truth, especially children are not going to sit and rationalize this when they are being victimized. This is where the role of parents and teachers comes into play.
Children are influenced by their environment. We have to lead by example. Compassion and kindness is something that they will have to watch and learn, so that they know how to implement it. At the same time, we must teach them to be assertive and not tolerate ill-treatment of ANY KIND! They must KNOW that their parents and teachers are always accessible and ready to help.
Most children don’t voice their experience because they are afraid that the bullies will avenge them for doing so. They must be assured that they will be protected for speaking up! The bullies also must know that they will be severely punished if they cause any further harm. This is a “soft aspect” –which needs to be incorporated in the policies and code of conduct.
Yes, these are values that children learn at home; however, schools are an extension of home. Schools should help to uphold these values that children learn at home. Anyone who violates these principles should be held up. Parents of both parties should be called forth and there could be a joint discussion on how the problem could be resolved. Don’t forget these are children today, but they have to grow up into responsible, kind and compassionate adults. The foundation for that has to be laid today.
We are already living in a world which is full of intense competition and fear and stress. These kinds of emotional upheavals may cause scars which will only add to the pressures faced by children.
Let’s go beyond teaching our kids Math, Science and Literature. Let’s teach them Humanity! It’s about time!
Please help spread the word and let’s put an end to this nonsense called bullying. Parents a humble request to you – please ensure that along with motivating your children to come first, you also teach them to not do that at the cost of others! Teach them to value and respect every being and treat everyone equally. Let’s do our bit in making our world peaceful again! Instead of teaching them the old-fashioned tradition of stepping into competition, teach them the new age trend of “stepping out of competition”. Let’s raise a generation in a world which is RAT-RACE free!
Much Gratitude & Love n Light Always…
~ Shweta V