Moments of Truth: The LaLit, Mumbai

Research shows that 82% of the people stop doing businesses with companies due to poor Customer Experience.

I had been to The Lalit, Mumbai in the last week of Dec 2019 along with my family. The property is great and so are the people, but do they have the “X” factor in creating a world-class experience for their customers? Sadly, No!

Their Moments of Truth often turned into Moments of Misery for us. Moments of Truth are an important aspect of the customer experience journey and organizations need to be obsessive about creating world class experiences for their customers.

In Customer Experience (CX) Management, Moments of Truth represent the points in a customer’s journey with a brand when a key event occurs and an opinion about that brand is formed. (Ref). Moments of Misery refer to interactions that have gone from bad to worse.

What happened at The LaLit, Mumbai?

Check-in counter (Moment of Misery # 1)

For hotels, check-in counters are one of the most important touchpoints for creating a great experience. Their staff was courteous but focused on their robotic processes rather than on the customers. We had to wait at the check-in counter for 10 mins just to handover our identity proofs. The lady at the counter  chose to focus on completing the data entry work instead of attending to us. All she had to do was to keep her robotic process aside and attend to us and other guests. She could have also asked her other colleagues to help her out.

24 x 7 Café (Moment of Misery # 2)

I can imagine a delay of 20-25 mins in getting your food order but your drinks order getting delayed by 40 mins is unheard of. The staff at the café looked disinterested and at times were busy playing the ‘blame game’. One guy got us a can of coke but forgot to get alcohol. When asked him about the missing stuff – he looked puzzled and took the can of coke away (I don’t know why he did that!). Another guy came in with the entire order (coke cans, whisky, beer bottles, etc.) after 15 mins. So technically our order was delayed by 45 mins. They did not even bother apologizing for the delay.

Queen-size bed (Moment of Misery # 3)

The rooms are spacious and well stocked (I hope you know what I mean.)! We were having our evening snacks and playing with my 8 month old niece when suddenly one the wheel castors from the bed frame came off. Luckily no one was hurt. We called up the reception asking them to send someone to get the bed frame fixed. The maintenance guy came and told us that it cannot be fixed. I handed him my card and asked him to give it to his Manager. I also told him that I was a Customer Experience Consultant and I post detailed reviews on my blog and TripAdvisor. The Managers were in our room within 5 mins (the perks of being a CX Consultant) and offered to get the room changed. We politely declined the offer and asked them to get our bed fixed. If only, they had focused on getting it fixed in the first interaction itself.

Why did this happen?

This happens when your employee engagement practices are not in sync with your customer experience practices. Quite a few companies who fail to engage their employees often face issues with retaining their customers due to poor CX. You may want to read reviews of companies on Glassdoor (reviews posted by employees) and then compare those with the reviews posted by customers on Trust Pilot (or similar websites). There are very few organizations in INDIA who believe in the magic of creating exceptional CX through effective EX (Employee Experience) strategies. Please note that, I am unaware of the EX strategies followed by The LaLit and hence not commenting on that.

Will I go back to The LaLit in the future? I don’t think so. I am a fan of exceptional experiences and if any hotel/restaurant or service provider fails to deliver it – then I STOP doing business with them! Let’s just say that I fall under 82% of the population 🙂

We Work to Elevate the Member Experience: Champs of Raheja Platinum


Just like how a man is known by the company he keeps. An organization is known by the way it serves its customers.

Customer Experience is one of the most crucial measures of success for any successful organization. You may have great services and products to offer your clients but without a service mindset these services and products will not serve any purpose.

There are very few organizations who believe in creating exceptional experiences for their customers and We Work is one such organization that thrive on elevating the overall experience for their members. They won my heart on the first day of my tour when they said that they addressed their customers as ‘members’. When you start considering your customers a part of your corporate family, you begin to build trust and this allows you to generate the right amount of experience for your customers.

We Work (Raheja Platinum) has a team of Customer Experience Champs – be it the Community Managers, Housekeeping staff or the Security staff. They all talk the same language – enhancing their members’ experience.

I wish to share a few stories of excellent service experience these guys are creating on a daily basis.

Empathy for members
Managing 1,800 members (yes, you will find almost 2,000 members working from Raheja Platinum.) is no easy feat and our champs are working day in and day out to keep their members engaged.

There was a member who had broken his leg – the We Work team understood his pain and brightened up his day by talking to him, helping with whatever he needed. There is a difference between empathy and sympathy — if you had a good intent to help people and are able to put yourself in their shoes — you have won a customer for life! I am sure that guy (member) would have been really happy to receive that kind of attention.

Going beyond the rules
Finding a parking spot these days is next to impossible. During my first week here, I had invited my family to see my office space and had asked them to park their vehicles outside. I was pretty sure that they would not get any parking within Raheja Platinum. It was Janmasthami and the road outside Raheja Platinum was crowded. My brother in law decided to drop my folks at the entrance first and then look for a space to park his car outside. The security guys screened the car and allowed him to park his car inside the premises as an exception. Now, this is what I call going beyond your rules and processes. Did he break the rule – I don’t think so? He screened the car and then decided to let them park the car inside (there was a 5 month old baby and two senior citizens). Had this been any other mall or corporate office premise the security guards would not have allowed? Simple things like these do make a difference.

Taking charge of the situation
A member accidentally dropped her coffee mug while walking and there was fresh coffee all over the floor. Normally, no one would bother to come and clean it up. Here, we had a member who obviously was embarrassed about what happened. The Community Manager (Vinay Menon) walked up to her and said “Hey, its OK we will sort this out!” He then called the housekeeping and got them to clear the mess. Again a simple gesture that made a difference!

Bouncing back from a service failure
Whenever there is a service failure or if a member has given a lower rating on the feedback. We Work champs make it a point to talk to the member to understand what went wrong and focus on winning back the trust. They meet internally as a team to discuss what they could be doing to avoid such gaps in the future and come up with plans to enhance the experience. Service failures are fine as long as organizations have the capabilities to own it up and work on turning it around for their customers!

What makes these guys so successful in elevating their members’ experience?
They are able to successfully align their three core pillars – Culture (Customer-centric), Employees (We Work Team) and Customers (Members). We Work as an organization lives by its mission – Elevate world’s consciousness.

Customer-centric culture
Their only goal is to make life simple for their members, and they are able to do this through 6 non-negotiable qualities that talk directly to their customer-centric culture: Grateful, Tenacious, Authentic, Entrepreneurial, Inspired and Together. They hire people who have the ability to display these qualities and empower them to leverage their strengths on a daily basis.

They have weekly and monthly meetings to discuss member experience – this allows them to strategize innovative methods of engaging with their members. Plus, it allows them to learn from each other – We Work members all over India along with the global team meet once a month over Zoom to discuss things they do to elevate the overall experience. Ritz Carlton, known for their excellent customer service is able to do this on a daily basis, and I am happy to hear that We Work too follows a similar practice.

Employee Engagement
All members are treated equally regardless of their level in the organization. They celebrate birthdays of housekeeping and security staff and make them feel special. If any member has recognized them then the recognition is made public on their in-house platform.

The community managers are allowed to speak their mind and share views and suggestions with the seniors and their inputs are not only considered but also implemented. This is what makes the place vibrant and enables We Work team to create exceptional experiences for their members.

Member Experience
The third pillar for We Work’s success is their ability to engage with the members. We Work members have a great intent to deliver great service and are committed to their mission of elevating world’s consciousness. They look for every opportunity to make a difference and help members feel at home.

They spend time on understanding their members and ensure to pair up members with a buddy (another member with similar interests). This fosters collaboration and allows members to create business opportunities. The weekly events are interesting and unique – who does that?

The playlist on the floor is curated on a daily basis to make it upbeat. The housekeeping team maintains the hygiene and cleanliness on all the floors – these champions are always on the move! The Community Managers always have a smile on their faces, despite their busy schedule. If they are busy, they will politely ask you to wait but make it a point to meet their members once they are done with their work.

It is the strong customer-centric culture that makes We Work one of the best co-working spaces. I look forward to a long and fruitful stay at We Work and hope to grow my firm at Raheja Classique soon:)

Believe me, these guys have not paid me for writing this post – in fact I am paying them a rental on a monthly basis 🙂 (Just kidding!)

A message to all the champs I have interacted with: Naomi D’souza, Yamini Singhal, Denise Moraes, Vinay Menon, Prachi Chitkara, Midhun Bharat, Sayli Homkar, Anshumaan Kharga, Akshay and Peter – you guys are truly inspiring. Keep making a difference in the lives of your members! You are the rock stars of We Work (Raheja Platinum)!

I would also like to thank my ex-colleague Nikita Kayal for encouraging me to work from We Work and to Arpita Gokhale for allowing me to write this post and also publish it on my blog!

© 2018-2025 All rights reserved.

5 Reasons Why People Avoid Talking About Mental Health!


Mental Health is an important aspect of our life but more often than not, we avoid talking about it in the open because of the taboo associated with it.

We are fine going to a doctor for treating our physical ailments but prefer to hide or ignore mental illness. Here are 5 reasons why people avoid talking about mental health:

1) Social stigma – there is a social stigma associated with mental health. There is a myth that anyone having a mental illness will land up in a mental asylum. The fact is that not all brain diseases are categorized as mental illnesses. There is a lot of research and material available on mental health but people prefer staying away because this is what they have been told since their childhood. If a child says he is feeling anxious or having panic attacks then parents/teachers or even guardians have asked them to not have such thoughts. As a result of this, people stop talking about it in the open and end up worsening the situation.

2) Fear of being judged – here you may find people going to a psychiatrist, therapist, counsellor or even a life coach but would avoid discussing it in the open due to the fear of being judged. They feel that if others know about their condition then they may be ridiculed by the people around them. There may be cases where people avoid seeking professional health due to the same fear – this is even worse! Seeking help is recommended regardless of whether you wish to share it with the general public.

3) Be Strong syndrome – many parents ask their children to be strong and not express their feelings and thoughts. “Be Strong” is such a strong word that it actually impacts your personality and you become emotionally disillusioned. If given a choice I would want to take “strict” action against all those who ask people to be strong under every situation. It is fine to feel NOT OK – in fact, you are being strong by accepting the NOT OK feeling!

4) Clueless – many a times people don’t know what to do when they feel anxious, depressed or have panic attacks. They either talk to their friends or family who would either give them some advice or ask them to neglect it. The only good thing about such souls is that they at least talk to people about what they are experiencing so what if it sounds like they are talking to a wall! 🙂

5) Financial burden – people find the fees to be quite expensive and end up neglecting the issue at hand. Typically a therapist or a counsellor would charge somewhere between 1,500-2,000 INR per hour for a session while a Life Coach or a Heal Your Life Coach would charge their clients 5,000-7,000 INR per hour. People need to start looking beyond the pricing and focus on the value they would get from such conversations.

As someone who has been through anxiety and panic attacks in the past, I would recommend that people seek professional help and also talk about their mental illness. While you may know that you need to exercise your body, did you know that it may also be important to exercise your mind? One needs to identify the mental health problem and then take steps to resolve the problem.

In the next post, we will talk about the 3 Common Mental Health Problems faced by people.

These were my thoughts on mental health. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below!

© 2018-2025 All rights reserved.

Let go of your OBSESSION!

(PC: howloveblossoms)

(PC: howloveblossoms)

****Disclaimer: Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents mentioned in this post are either the products of my imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.******

Sarah and Andrew were great friends since their childhood and quite successful in their respective careers. There was nothing romantic between them as Andrew had a steady girlfriend and Sarah always stayed away from intimate relationships. Andrew enjoyed Sarah’s company, and they would often go out for dinner/lunch and movie dates.

Sarah’s company was planning to relocate her to their office in Australia as the Creative Director. She was excited about this offer but was equally anxious about this change. Sarah had never ventured out of her comfort zone (she was from Cincinnati, Ohio) plus she had all her friends and family around her. She was excited to give this news to Andrew at his brother’s wedding. She was looking forward to the wedding, but something unexpected happened – Sarah was smitten by Andrew’s new look and fell in love with him! Andrew decided to change his looks for his brother’s Big day and his new clean-shaven look made him look like a Greek God! Sarah started obsessing about Andrew and wanted to get closer to him.

She was his best friend and wanted to share her feelings with him. She took him out for dinner the next day and shared her feelings for him. She had fallen in love with her best friend. Andrew laughed it off initially but later realized that she was serious. He hugged her and said that he loves her too but like a friend. He said that he may have given it a thought had Jenny not been there but he sees her only as a close friend! Sarah was happy that her friend understood her situation but deep down she felt sad and lonely.

Andrew kept meeting her regularly after that and would message her almost daily to keep a tab on his friend. On the face of it Sarah would show that everything was fine but would keep obsessing about him and often gets jealous upon seeing him with Jenny or any other girl. She could not accept the fact that he had actually rejected her feelings. She felt angry on herself for not making the first move. “I met him before Jenny, so I should have been there with him and not her!” she said to herself. She started getting distracted at work, and it also started affecting her other relationships. She would often be angry and even yell at people. She didn’t know what was happening. She feared about losing Andrew and would often look for opportunities that would allow her to be closer to him. Andrew knew what was happening and chose to be with Sarah. He said he would always be with her no matter what. Sarah started losing her sleep and decided to end her friendship with Andrew. “I cannot see you with Jenny or any other girl Andrew. I love you and before you forget me and give me the pain its best if I stop meeting you. I wish you a lovely life Andy. If you care about me, please do not call me back. I am fine!” she texted him and left for Australia without meeting her best friend.

Why do you think Sarah got so obsessed?
This may have been a result of suppressing her emotions for a long time. It is fine to fall in love with your best friend and yes it is also fine to share your feelings with him/her. She did the right thing by sharing her feelings but was not able to accept the rejection. Many a time our logical brain goes for a toss especially when your emotions get hijacked. When we don’t get the desired object (in this case her friend) we start obsessing about the person at all times. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Sarah needs to dig deeper to find the root cause of this obsession.

Here are some possible reasons for the obsession:
– As a child she may have been ridiculed/rejected by her parents, friends or family. This would have made her feel isolated.
– She may have dealt with a broken relationship in the past (and this could be one reasons why she did not want to get into intimate relationships)
– She may have had insecurity issues
– May have faced situations where people may have not given her the necessary attention
– Transference of her separation anxiety to distract herself from the pain

What could she have done to let go of her obsession?
– Sarah could have connected to her feelings — what made her feel attracted to Andrew — was it romantic, sexual or just a distraction to keep her away from the pain of moving out of her comfort zone?
– She could have gone deeper to understand the reasons behind feeling rejected. Did she face this situation in the past?
– She could have also looked at her broken relationships (if any) – was there something she had to resolve? Was she getting into the similar situation?
– Sarah could have also looked at her own beliefs about relationships and life in general
– Sarah needs to start loving herself to heal the most important relation of her life – her relationship with her own self
– Sarah could have done all of the above by hiring a Life Coach or a Counselor.
– Finally, she could have met Andrew before leaving and could have considered him as her BFF

We all obsess about things and people. Obsession is worse than life time imprisonment because it just makes us feel powerless. We give away our power to that object or person subconsciously. We can get ourselves out of this situation by understanding the message this situation is offering us. There is a reason why we face painful situations in life. We need to decode those messages and move on in life. The only way to do this is to release the obsession and this can be done only by loving ourselves!

Want to know how you can love yourself every day? Are you willing to go deeper in your inner journey? Then Heal Your Life Coaching is your only answer. Reach out to me on +91-97698 69902 or and let’s create a plan to transform your life!

© 2018-2025 All rights reserved.

Grand Hyatt, Goa = GRAND EXPERIENCE!

I have been to many 5-star properties but my experience with Grand Hyatt, Goa was out of this world! An experience that I had only read about in books (experiences given by Ritz Carlton and Four Seasons).

My wife Samira and I spent 4 nights and 5 days at Grand Hyatt, Goa (Bambolim) from Jul 5-Jul 9. We were expecting it to be like any other 5-star property but what followed after that was mind boggling. An attendant took us to the personalized check-in counter where we were greeted by Priyam K S (Guest Experience Manager). The payment process at the check-in was seamless and then we were taken on a mini tour of the property. We were happy to know that we could go to any of the restaurants for our meals (since meals were a part of our package). Now, this was a surprise to us because all other 5-star hotels usually have a fixed restaurant for all their meals (especially for those with meal packages).

The room was beautiful and had a direct access to the pool outside. Every day, the housekeeping staff would refill the fruit plate and would also fold towels into various shapes (swan, elephant, etc.). They would offer clean-up service twice in a day. Another example of superexcellent service – who does this on a daily basis? What encourages them to do their job so well?

We had a wide range of options to choose for our dining – The Verandah (authentic Italian restaurant), The Dining Room (multi-cuisine restaurant and we made this our regular breakfast joint), Chulha (as the name suggests this is a typical Indian restaurant offering authentic Mughlai and Indian cuisine) and Capiz Bar (an ideal place to hang out with your loved ones).

We loved The Verandah for the lovely experience – we decided to go there thrice during our stay. On our last evening, Rajesh made it really special for us by setting it up like a private dinner in the open corridor. Needless to say that our food was outstanding (thanks to Chef Rana)! At The Dining Bar the Chef (Chef Shubo) ensured that we tasted the pastries of the day and also customized the salads for us. The team at the Capiz Bar (Vishnu, Manju and Aryan) actually started having conversations with me. Now again, for me this was unexpected because typically at a bar, the bartender or the Team lead would never engage in a conversation. I was thoroughly impressed!

The entire team was living their customer-centric culture and focused on making it special for all their customers. What goes behind creating this magical experience. My wife and I wanted to understand the people who were behind all of this so decided to meet Priyam and he was kind enough to share the reasons behind their magical experience.

Masterstroke: Alignment of Employee engagement strategy with Customer Experience strategy
Grand Hyatt, Goa offers a 5-day work week to their employees. Every employee goes through a series of training every month to enhance the customer experience. They have a reward and recognition happening almost on a daily basis and share it over a WhatsApp. Be it a direct feedback received from a customer or recognition done by the team lead or supervisor. The hotel was generous enough to make a huge restaurant at the basement only for the staff. It was one of its kind – the interiors reflected the culture of Goa to make employees feel at home and had a large buffet for the entire staff. This was one place where everyone was equal! They were so proud to have this restaurant just for themselves!

Grand Hyatt, Goa has created a benchmark for all other 5-star hotels by aligning their employee engagement strategy with their customer experience strategy and the results were outstanding! We are definitely going back to this property next year because our search for excellence ends at Grand Hyatt, Goa. They believe in making everything GRAND!

Note: I am passionate about helping organizations, hotels and other service providers enhance their service mindset. I was proud to have met these customer experience champs at Grand Hyatt and they were kind enough to allow me to mention all of it in my blog! Thanks Priyam and team for the lovely experience you guys created for us! See you soon!

Face Everything And Rise!

Today I wish to talk about one of the most common emotions we face on a daily basis FEAR! I have every reason to believe that fear is so common that we may be inhaling more of ‘fear’ than the air that is necessary for our survival!

You may have heard that FEAR has two abbreviations associated with it – Face Everything And Rise or Forget Everything And Run. What action you take, depends on how you wish to tackle the situation. Now, there is nothing wrong in running away from the situation – you may avoid the fear or the situation for that very moment, but let me tell you that the same fear will manifest itself into some other form in the future.

What exactly is this fear?

Fear is nothing but a response to a threat which could either be a real threat or a perceived threat. There are different kinds of fear that people experience at various stages of their life. It could either be a fear of failure, fear of being judged, fear of being neglected/ridiculed, fear of public speaking and the most recent one is the fear of being trolled on social media.

If we are stuck in a fire then our natural response would be to get scared and this is absolutely fine because fire is a real threat. But fear of public speaking and/or fear of being trolled online are perceived threats or perceived fear. It is this perceived fear that stops us from moving ahead in life and hampers our growth.

So how does one overcome fear and move ahead in life?

Let me offer you three magical steps that will enable you to overcome any fear in life.

Step 1: Connect – the first step would be to connect to your fears. Every fear comes with a story/message. Go back in time to find out the root cause behind your fears. Most of our fears have their roots in our childhood. Connect with that feeling and story without any judgement.

Step 2: Identify benefits offered – identify benefits your fear is offering provided you overcome the fear. For instance, if you overcome your fear of public speaking then you may get invited at events to talk plus you get fame and money. Also, if you overcome your fear of being trolled online then you get a chance to promote your brand and business online.

Step 3: Get your fear to work for you – the third and the most important step is to actually get your fears to work for you. Most people, stop after the second step. This is how you can get your fear to actually work for you.

a) Take baby steps – identify one or two things you could do to overcome your fear. Let us take the example of fear of public speaking. Look for opportunities at home or at work that allow you to speak in smaller groups.

b) Learn from your experience – introspect on your performance in small groups. Make a note of the positives so as to repeat it in the future. Also, make a note of the developmental areas without any judgement. This will help you move ahead. You may hear your inner critic calling you names and even discouraging you – just be aware of those messages and identify to the benefits you may get just by overcoming your fear!

c) Take the leap of faith — remember that fear has no mind of its own — it is your own mind that lets itself being controlled. Your mind is stronger than your fear so remind yourself about your own capabilities and take the plunge!

These steps can be applied to overcome any fear.

Let me give you examples of two great leaders who once had a fear of public speaking. Did you know that Mahatma Gandhi and Warren Buffet both had a fear of public speaking? They became great leaders by overcoming their fears!

So the next time you are faced with any fear – remember to Face Everything And Rise!

I conduct FREE sessions that enable people to heal their pain, fear, stress and anxiety. (This offer is valid until July 2019 only. Starting August 2019 all my sessions will be on chargeable basis)

© 2018-2025 All rights reserved.

It’s All About Loving Yourself!

Do you find yourself:

1) Having mental fights with someone either at work or while driving/travelling or at home?

2) Eating spicy food (that causes heartburn)

3) Getting angry when driving

4) Pleasing others

5) Being self-critical about your body shape and size

6) Not speaking up for yourself

7) Having a hard time saying NO!

8) Giving priority to others

9) Cancelling your plans to accommodate someone elses plans

10) Constantly worrying about things

11) Being anxious throughout the day

12) Overeating

13) Being distracted by multiple thoughts and then resorting to social media either at work or home?

14) Attracting negative people and situations in life

If you are doing any or all of the above then my friend you aren’t loving yourself as much as you should be. It is very easy to think about others and be there when needed. Yes, it does make us a nice person but if we do not give ourselves the love and respect we deserve then how can we expect others to love and respect us?

Do you want to start loving yourself and lead a life that you deserve? If you have answered YES to this question, then you just need to follow these three simple techniques. These will allow you to love yourself more often and enable you to lead a peaceful life!

# 1 Mirror, Mirror: every morning spend a few minutes in front of the mirror. Observe yourself from a non-judgmental position – this will free you up from any negative thoughts or images that you may have created about yourself. Read these affirmations aloud while looking into the mirror:

I am honest.

I am brave.

I can.

I am accepted.

I am protected.

I breathe.

(Affirmations courtesy: Almas Merchant – Bach Flower Remedy Practitioner, Psychotherapist and Practicing Hypnotist)

# 2 Learn to SAY NO! if you have been a “YES MAN” throughout your life then it may be extremely difficult for you to switch sides. You need to take baby steps and learn to say no as and when possible. This doesn’t mean that you say no to everything and everyone. What this means is that if there is something that puts you under a lot of pressure then you have every right to SAY NO! Remember if you do not respect your life, your time and your emotions then others too will not care about you! Before jumping to any conclusion or making any decision, always think about how something may affect you emotionally. For instance, if you are surrounded by toxic relatives and if you wish to exclude them from your party or if you wish to avoid going for a party that has such people then just SAY NO! Respect yourself and your emotions!

# 3 Speak your mind! if you felt hurt or did not agree with the views presented by others then do share your thoughts and feedback with others. For someone who has been a people pleaser, this may not come easily. You will have to push yourself to speak your mind. Again, take baby steps and share your thoughts confidently. Ensure that you aren’t venting out – there is a huge difference between venting out and speaking your mind. Venting out is nothing but transference of anger on someone else. I am talking about giving feedback or sharing your feelings about something that you don’t like or disagreed with.

Try practicing these at your end and feel free to share your experiences and thoughts with me.

Always remember that it is important to love yourself – if you wish to be respected and loved by the people around you then start loving yourself first. Your healing process begins only after you start loving yourself! Because YOU deserve the best things in life!

I conduct FREE sessions that enable people to heal their pain, fear, stress and anxiety. (This offer is valid until July 2019 only. Starting August 2019 all my sessions will be on chargeable basis)

© 2018-2025 All rights reserved.

Keep the Inner Child ALIVE!

****Disclaimer: Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents mentioned in this post are either the products of my imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.******

I have been spending quite some time with my lovely nieces whom I fondly call Nebula and Gamora. It is a lovely feeling as they in fact got me connected to my own inner child. I am certain you would agree when I say that there is an inner child dwelling within us!

I love how they communicate their needs without barely uttering a word. It is our responsibility to understand their needs – my sisters are in the learning stage and I am sure will become great moms! This post is dedicated to my lovely nieces and to the inner child that is in each of us!

A child has no fear because it doesn’t care about the outcomes. All the child wants is to feel the moment and learn from it. It stops learning when we start placing restrictions on the child and instill fear in order to manage their tantrums. We do it unconsciously because that’s how we are conditioned – our parents did that to us (because they learnt it from their parents.) so we imitate our parents without thinking through the outcomes. We as parents may win, but the child loses its inner child in the process. Let me explain this through a fictional story.

Jenny has all the good things anyone could ever ask for – a decent job, a loving husband, doting sons and a 3 month old Labrador. But Jenny is not happy and keeps complaining about her quality of life. She is often confused and at times comes across as rude and disinterested. She feels people are out to prove her wrong and this has affected her overall confidence. People at work have often complained about her eccentric behavior. In fact, her best friend Cathy finds her moody and approaches her only when she finds Jenny happy. She is afraid that Jenny may pass some rude comments. Jenny has been like this from the start but Cathy has not been able to understand the reason behind her mood swings.

What do you think is wrong with Jenny?

As a kid, Jenny was extremely confident and had no fear of failure. She would participate in school plays and debates and would win awards. She was loved equally by her teachers and family. Jenny was the class topper and this worked against. Friends started avoiding her as they grew envious of her success. In fact, parents of some of her friends even requested teachers to change her group as having her around was impacting their kids. Jenny overheard one such conversation and felt hurt. She was angry and wanted to discuss this with her family. Her father blamed her for all that had happened and asked her to accept the situation. This angered her even more and she yelled back at her father. The father got up and slapped her twice. That was the day Jenny lost her inner child!

All Jenny wanted was reassurance from her parents that she was fine and her friends were not. Jenny wanted her father to tell her that she was OK and had every right to succeed in life. The injunctions she got from her parents, friends and teachers were – “Don’t feel” and “Don’t Succeed” and these in turn influenced her life. She lost her confidence, chose to remain silent and thus suffered from mood disorders. Her poor mental health had a negative impact on her physical health, leading to High BP and Gastric problems.

How can Jenny heal her inner child and transform her life?

Jenny needs to focus on doing any or all of the following to get her inner child back:

Acknowledge her pain: it is essential that she acknowledges her deep pain. It is this awareness that will enable Jenny to connect with her deep pain and help her move on.

Act it out: Jenny could also act it out by connecting with her pain. If she feels angry then she needs to get it out of her system. If she feels like crying then she could get into a room and weep like a baby. It is essential that she connects with her emotions. Catharsis is the key to unlock her bottled emotions!

Write a letter: she could write a letter to the one who hurt her the most (mainly to her parents). She need not give the letter to them – she could either burn those pages or flush it down the toilet. Also, by doing this she will be able to resolve her deep-rooted pain and improve her overall relationships with the people around her.

Talk to a Mental Health expert like a Counselor or a Life Coach and sign him/her up for a few months until she resolves her issue.

Visualization and Affirmation – visualize herself in a positive state. She could write down her visualization and convert it into an affirmation. Jenny can read it aloud, record it and listen to it every day. She will see changes within a month or so (provided she does it diligently and positively).

How can we, as parents, help our kids retain their inner child?

I’M OK-YOU’RE OK – encourage them to follow this Basic Life Position. Constant reinforcement of this will make them confident and improve their trust levels. They will be able to confront people without being judgmental.

Encourage them to speak their mind.

Tell them that it is fine to fail – this will allow them to embrace failures gracefully and enable then to learn from those failures.

Answer all their questions no matter how stupid – ensure that you don’t mock them as this may have a direct impact on their thinking.

• Most importantly, TRUST them and their decisions – this will not only allow them to trust the people around them but also believe in their decision making capabilities.

Last but not the least, ensure that you keep your own inner child ALIVE as well!

I conduct FREE sessions that enable people to heal their pain, fear, stress and anxiety. (This offer is valid until July 2019 only. Starting August 2019 all my sessions will be on chargeable basis)

© 2018-2025 All rights reserved.

Connect the dots: Hypertension (High BP) and Emotional issues!

I was diagnosed with a High BP problem in 2012. Coincidentally, 2012 was the year where I was going through a rough patch both personally as well as professionally. My anxiety and panic attacks were at its peak and this lead to a severe problem on Sleep Apnea!

Now all these issues are interconnected – sleep apnea leads to breathlessness (you actually stop breathing in your sleep for a few seconds.) which causes anxiety/panic attacks and this in turn increases your blood pressure. Typically all these are physical symptoms and can be treated through medicine, but it will make you dependent on medicines and/or the CPAP machine (for sleep apnea) for life. You may be able to get your BP under control and also sleep peacefully through the CPAP machine but will it actually solve your problem? The answer is NO!

While I mentioned that 2012 was a tough year for me, I have every reason to believe that the bodily issues I faced back in 2012 may have been a result of unresolved emotional issues from the past. It’s like the pressure cooker – if you were to seal the pressure release mechanism of your cooker, the pressure inside may reach some dangerous levels and if this happens, the top would eventually pop up! Similarly, if we do not release our emotions or share our pain with people, it will eventually reach dangerous levels and start affecting our body and mind.

Unresolved emotions put a lot of pressure on us as we are unable to speak our mind. This pressure eventually starts building up inside and leads to issues like High BP, Anxiety, Depression, etc. In short, our inability to speak our mind affects our quality of life and we get into what is typically called as the ‘victim’ zone. So how does one take charge of his/her life and reduce dependability on medicines or other alternative methods to keep our BP under control? The answer is simple – connect to your pain, accept your current situation and start introspecting your life! Now, before we get into some specific steps of how you can transform yourself let me make it clear that I am not asking you to stop taking your medicines. BP medicines can be stopped only after your doctor gives you the green signal else you may have to continue taking it for a lifetime!

According to Louise Hay, all of our bodily issues have a deep connection to our thoughts, beliefs and emotions. Louise was one of the best healers in the world who has healed millions of people through her unique healing methods and positive philosophies. If you are into reading you may want to read some of her best sellers – Heal Your Body and You Can Heal Your Life.

Let me share a real-life example with you on how connecting to your emotions/pain/fear can help you heal your life! Since the last one month I had been facing a lot of issues. It started with a gastric problem which lead to an increase in my blood pressure and I had to stop eating my favorite food. I had some homemade remedies to resolve the problem. Every night I would get up due to an acid reflux and end up staring at the ceiling. This later led to a severe panic attack, and I was left breathless. Heavy breathing just added to my anxiety and I was gasping for breath for no reason at all. I related all these issues to work stress (which wasn’t there!)

I then decided to connect to my anxiety and my “Jumpya” (name I have given to my anxiety) asked me to discuss these issues with my supervisor, my life coach/counsellor and my wife. I discussed it at length with all of them, but I was still unable to overcome my anxiety. All this while I was denying that I am not feeling bad about leaving my company or I was scared of starting my new venture. But the night of Mar 7, 2019 was different – I connected to the pain of moving out of CACTUS and also connected to the fear of starting my own venture. The moment I connected to my pain I was at peace. My breathing went back to normal and so did my BP. The next day, I felt a bit tired but was constantly connecting to my pain and fear. By Mar 9, I was completely fine.

If only I had connected to my pain (which my wife had been telling me) I would have been in a much better place. But as they say, you need to learn from your lessons before progressing to the next level. My biggest learning was to connect to my pain and to the fact that it is fine to feel scared and it is fine to release your emotions.

Here are some simple techniques (based on my own experience) that you could follow to transform/heal yourself

1) List down your emotional pain (kind of a laundry list) – this could be some emotional pain from your childhood that you have not yet resolved (e.g. constant comparison, being ridiculed, inability to speak your mind, fear if being judged, etc.).

2) Connect to your pain – we are always in the denial mode and the only way to heal ourselves is to connect with the pain and accept it.

3) Heal your pain – the moment you connect to your pain, you need to feel it and just focus on releasing your emotions. You will be at peace and will be in a better position to manage your situation. Ensure that you share your thoughts and feelings with someone. (could be your loved one, your supervisor or friend, your life coach/counselor, etc)

Remember that it is fine to feel scared, and it is fine to release your emotions! YOU ARE OK!

I conduct FREE sessions that enable people to heal their pain, fear, stress and anxiety. (This offer is valid until July 2019 only. Starting August 2019 all my sessions will be on chargeable basis)

© 2018-2025 All rights reserved.

Finding my IKIGAI!

I have always led my life by what people around me wanted me to do. I had this constant fear of authority – be it my parents, teachers, bosses or any person in an authoritative position. Does that mean they instilled fear in me? No, they didn’t…

I have been an anxious child and always looked for external confirmation as I did not receive any answers from within. I never believed in myself and as such came across as timid and indecisive. I was dependent on others for all decisions that had to be made. I hated myself for being an average student. Most of my friends and family members were intelligent and did well academically! I would often compare myself to others and felt bad about my own limitations.

I became an introvert and started doubting my own abilities. I made a decision at a very early stage in my life that I was NOT OK. I had a fear of failure, fear of being judged or ridiculed and these anxieties or fears are as old as I am.

I could never mix with people, and you would often find me sitting in a corner at most of the parties or family functions. Why would people look up to me or consider me for larger roles when I looked down upon myself.

I often shied away from taking decisions. For instance, after graduation, I had no clue what I wanted to do. There were too many thoughts and anxieties about my future, and I would freeze and keep staring at my father. A 22-year old with no ambition or clarity about his future – I can only imagine the pain my father would have gone through. I was given the opportunity to go to the U.S. for my CPA, and I accepted it without even gauging my capabilities. I FAILED – not once but THRICE!! What a waste!!

2002 was a turning point of my life as I made one of the best decisions of my life by joining CACTUS. But was I able to overcome my anxieties – NOPE? In these last 16 years of my career I did fine but not as great as I should have. I was AVERAGE – why? Because I never gave importance to what I wanted or what I felt like doing! Anxiety took over my ability to think and strategize.

2012 was one of the worst phases of my life (now, I consider it as a blessing in disguise.) and I signed up for counselling sessions with Spring Counselling and Psychotherapy Center. Thus began my journey of self-realization and self-actualization. It took me 6 years to realize (2018) that the only way to transform myself was to befriend my anxiety. This got me closer to my purpose or my IKIGAI and enabled me to make the biggest decision of my life!

My IKIGAI is to transform lives and enable people to identify their true potential. By getting them to connect with their fears I would want them to live a life they have always wished to live. This will heal people as they will eventually overcome their pain and move forward on their purpose in life.

SO WHY DO I EXIST? I am born on this planet to HEAL people and enable them to live a life they deserve, and people only deserve the best! #TransformingLives #HealingPeople #SAMAKSH